Hi everyone,

Thank you for your responses. Good that today we have two responses. That makes the explanation richer and more meaningful.

Before going to the correction and explanation, let me address an English issue.

Brother Phan Anh Tai , an admin of VNBIZ, has just posted on VNBIZ a recent news article (below) about Intel’s job tests in Vietnam last year. Basically, Intel had 2,000 candidates, “the best and brightest from five of Vietnam’s top universities.” And only 40 made the final cut in English.

40 out of 2,000 of the best and the brightest! We have a national problem, brothers and sisters.

Now, you know why I spend time so much time on English on Dot Chuoi Non. With this Daily English Challenge program, I am working my way slowly to identify the weaknesses in our English education and performance, and find ways to strengthen them.

So, when you work on these daily challenges here, you not only refine your own English but also work with me in figuring out problems in, and solutions for, our current English-teaching system and methodology. Thanks a million for walking with me on this road, guys and gals.

Here is the first part of the Intel news article:

Vietnam: Foreign companies struggle to find skilled professionals
May 17, 2009

By John Ruwitch

Hanoi – About a year ago, 2 000 of the best and brightest from five of Vietnam’s top universities were invited to take a lengthy multiple-choice exam for a shot at a job at Intel.

The giant computer chip maker had broken ground on its biggest factory in Vietnam’s commercial hub, Ho Chi Minh City, and the $1 billion (R8.5bn at current exchange rate) assembly and test facility, which expected to start operations this year, needed good engineers.

It was more than just another big project. The Intel investment would put Vietnam on the global technology map and help a rising star in the manufacturing world advance up the value chain.

But the results from Intel’s test cast a spotlight on one of Vietnam’s biggest barriers to achieving that dream: its inadequate and inflexible higher education system.

A fraction of the students passed the written exam, covering physics, electrical engineering, maths and other topics. Then they were given an English test, and just 40 made the final cut.

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Now, let’s go to Loan’s writing.

Coming to DakLak province , BMT city. We have many to visit, there are beauiful and famous waterfall such as: Draysap,Trinh nu, Gia long, Thuy Tien,..
There are many old pagoda,emple, and communal house…
And now, let we go to visit khai doan pagoda first.
Khai Doan pagoda(Khai Doan tu) is in the heart of BMT city an area of 3500 square meters
The name of the pagoda was formed by both the first two words of Emperor Khai Dinh name’s and Doan Huy sultana’s
It was built in 1951 and the sanctum was built 1953, the lady whose great merit of developing the pagoda was Doan Huy sultana.
It was built by clever constructors of Hue ancient capital, so its achitecture consisted of Hue garden house style.
The main gate is on Quang Trung street, especially, there cupris statue of Shikia Mouni in the heart and the cupris bell is put on the left of the sanctum.
Khai Doan pagoda is an attracted tourist place along side a historical , cultural vestige of Dak Lak province generally and BMT particularly.
I hope that, this place will be interesting and ideal destination of yours.
Looking forwards to seeing your soon!

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Here is my edited version.

Welcome to Daklak Province, Buon Ma Thuot City. We have many places to visit. There are famous beautiful waterfalls, such as Draysap, Trinh Nu, and Thuy Tien. There are many old pagoda, temples and communal houses.

Anh now, let’s go to visit Khai Doan Pagoda first. Khai Doan Pagoda (Khải Đoan Tự) is in the heart of BMT, in an area of 3,500 square meters. The name of the pagoda was formed by the first two words in the names of Emperor Khai Dinh and his wife, Queen Doan Huy. It was built in 1951 and the sanctum was built in 1953. The lady whose great service brought the pagoda to life was Queen Doan Huy. Skillful artisans from the ancient capital of Hue did the construction, so its architecture has the Hue garden house style.

The main gate is on Quang Trung street. In the sanctum, the black-copper statue of Sakya Muni stands in the middle and a black-copper bell is on the left.

Khai Doan Pagoda is a great tourist attraction, among other historical and cultural landmarks of Daklak generally and BMT particularly.

I hope that this place would be an interesting and ideal destination for you.

Looking forward to seeing you soon.

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Let’s cover a number of points.

1. Be careful with your commas and periods. Each independent clause should be ended with a period (to become a full sentence itself). Do not connect two independent clauses by a comma. If you want to connect two (or more) independent clauses use “and” or similar words.

2. There is too much use of passive voice here. Try to stay away from passive voice as much as you can.

3. “Sultana” is a female member of a sultan family. A sultan is a Muslim leader. The wife of a king is a queen (even if in Vietnamese we say Hoang Thai Hau Doan Huy).

4. Daklak Province, Buon Ma Thuot City, Khai Doan Pagoda: Province, City and Pagoda must be capitalized, because they are part of the names when written this way. And we don’t put the word “the” before a name.

But, we write: the province of Daklak, the city of Buon Ma Thuot, the padoga of Khai Doan.

5. No one in the world, except perhaps a handful of metallurgists, knows what “cupric” is. Just use “black copper.”

6. “Sakya Muni” (or Shakya Muni) is the current word for Thích Ca Mâu Ni.

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Now, let’s go to Đức Minh’s writing. My first impression is that this is a very good piece of writing–clear and easy to understand. Superb! It has too few errors to talk about. Only a couple of very minor mistakes. No fun to talk about a good piece of writing. 😦

Here is my edited version. The corrected parts are in boldface and there are only a couple of little ones, so it is hard to see!
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Now, we’re on Nguyen Thi Minh Khai – one of the main streets of the downtown area. It’s long and covered with many trees.

Look! Do you see the place on the right which has a lot of big trees? It’s Tao Dan Park. My friends and I sometimes go for a walk around this park to enjoy the nature. Tao Dan Park is a good shelter for many kinds of birds and insects. In the morning, many people often come here to do exercises. But in the evening, it becomes an interesting and romantic place for loving couples.

Well, going ahead, you will see the small and quiet street on the right. It’s called Huyen Tran Cong Chua. Huyen Tran is the name of a princess who lived during the Tran dynasty in the history of Vietnam. As you see, there are many sports shops along this road. Those shops sell many kinds of sports clothes and sports equipment.

Now, we’re at the crossroads. And I am making a right turn onto Nam Ky Khoi Nghia. Going ahead on this street, you will see an icon of Vietnamese independence. Guess what?

It’s over there, on the right, the big building with many Vietnamese flags. Vietnamese people call it “Dinh Thong Nhat”. In English, it’s called Reunification Palace. Dinh Thong Nhat is formerly known as Dinh Doc Lap or Independence Palace. It was designed by architect Ngo Viet Thu as the home and workplace of the President of South Vietnam during the Vietnam War. Many historical events happened here, and the biggest one happened on April 30th, 1975. That was the moment when North Vietnamese Army entered Dinh Doc Lap, which ended victoriously Ho Chi Minh City’s campaign and the campaign for full liberation of the whole South Vietnam. Nowadays, Vietnamese people see it as a historical place.

In front of Dinh Doc Lap is Le Duan Street. On this street, you will also see Han Thuyen Park, Duc Ba Church, Diamond Plaza, Sai Gon Tower, some beautiful hotels and many interesting places. I think this area is the heart of the downtown.

But, first of all, would you like to enjoy some delicious coffee at Han Thuyen Park? Then, we will discover many interesting places that I have just told you. How’s that idea?

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All right, let’s talk about a couple of words.

* “The street is long and covered with many trees”: Nothing is wrong with this, grammatically. However, people may have the image of a street covered with broken trees after a storm. It may be better written as: “The street is long and has tall trees on both sides,” or “The street is long and covered with a canopy of green foliage from the two rows of huge trees on both sides.” (But I don’t think we have this on Nguyen Thi Minh Khai though) 🙂

* “Terminate” may mean “to kill off”, like “I will terminate you if you don’t stop saying that” 🙂 Have you watched the movie “Terminator” by Arnold Schwarzenegger? It is better to use “end” here.
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GRAMMAR HINT

* Generally, a countable noun must have THE, A, AN, or a NUMBER in front of it, or an S if it is plural,

Examples:

Let’s go into this furniture store and pick up a table. Ok, how about two tables instead?

People are crazy at times!

I like these chairs but don’t like the table.

• Generally, an uncountable noun goes by itself, or sometimes has THE in front.
Examples”

Life is wonderful.

The life of a teacher is tough. (Note: Now “life” goes with “a teacher” and it becomes definite, so we need the definite article THE).

You are as sweet as sugar. (If you keep saying this to a girl, you have a great chance of winning her heart, even if she is sư tử Hà Đông) :-).
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TODAY’S CHALLENGE

You have a pen pal in Australia. His name is Nick. And he has just sent you this email: “Dear XXX, this Vietnamese friend of mine has just given me the statue of a little boy on the running horse, and he told me the name of the little boy is THU DONG THIN VUONG or something like that. Who is he? Looks like a three-year old kid riding a war horse. Can you tell me about him?”

OK, guys. Have fun!

And have a great day!

Hoanh