Dear Brothers and Sisters,

We have so many faces that writers and philosophers have talked about each person wearing a dozen of masks in a day, as an actor playing many different roles in a drama. The implication is that our life is not real, we are only acting, presenting different faces to different people in different situations – we are not honest, no one knows our true self, true face. Continue reading Always the same person →

Chào các bạn,

Thở và cười được xem là pháp môn đặc trưng của thiền sư Thích Nhất Hạnh, thực hành bằng cách tập trung vào thở và cười. Dĩ nhiên, để quá trình thở và cười được đạt kết quả cao, ta thường ngồi thiền hoặc thiền hành hoặc nói chuyện nhẹ…

Mình đã nghiêm chỉnh thực hành pháp môn này, trong nhiều năm, và nhận ra rằng, dù pháp môn đó cho mình cảm giác vui vẻ, thoải mái, bình yên, nhưng đó chỉ là cảm giác nhất thời, không bền vững và lòng mình vẫn còn nhiều điều không được giải quyết dứt điểm. Continue reading Thở và cười – có được bình an? →

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

We all know that everything in the world requires right timing. Since you were very little, you have learned that if you want to ask mom for some money to buy something, you have to wait for the right time, till she is happy and ready to hear your request and your explanation for the need, and hopefully she would agree to pull some bucks out of her pocket. You may have a very good idea, but doing it at the wrong time, you will fail. Continue reading Wait for the right timing →

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Do you know people who tell you something and you simply don’t count on it. A guy tells you: “Whenever I come to Hanoi, I will call you,” and you thought: “Liar. That never happens.” Or, “Can I borrow this book? I’ll return it in three days.” And you answer: “Sorry, I am doing some work with it now,” because you know that the book will never get returned unless you come to the borrower’s home and knock on his door. Or, “I am a Buddhist”, except that for the last 3 years, he has set foot into a pagoda twice, to eat fasting meals (cơm chay) on two major holidays. Continue reading Can people count on your word ? →

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

We all know that there are lots of corrupted officials – some are vacationing in jail, many others are still undiscovered by the government. I am using corruption as an example, but this article is really for every other sin of the society.

Do you know the reason for corruption to run rampant out of control? Weak law? Weak law enforcement? Continue reading The root of corruption →

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

You can try many ways to improve yourself for years and years, but if you have practiced enough of ways, you will realize that the best way for you to be doing well, physically and spiritually, is non-grasping onto yourself. As long as you still grasp onto yourself, all other spiritual ways become useless. Continue reading The me →

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Confucius teaches Five Constant Virtues (Ngũ thường) which, starting from the most important to the less, are Humanity, Respect, Loyalty, Wisdom and Trust – Nhân, Lễ, Nghĩa, Trí, Tín. These are the fundamental virtues to live by, to keep both the individual and the society strong and healthy. Continue reading Humanity, Respect, Loyalty, Wisdom, Trust →

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Most people going through life with the ideas of what they want to have – job, home, money, position, property, power – but no ideas about that kind of people they want to be.

The world generally thinks about 2 kinds of people: good and bad. Continue reading What kind of people you want to be? →

Dear Brothers (and Sisters),

Hey guys, have you ever cried?

When I grew up, I was trained by the older generations, like the famed scholar Phạm Quỳnh, that: men don’t cry, don’t smile, don’t laugh, don’t have a lot of body movements – like a statue – because we men are supposed to keep all emotions inside, so that nobody can read our thoughts and emotions. We men must be like generals whom no opponents can read anything when they look at us.

It made perfect sense to me, because we have been a country constantly at war for thousands of years against, first, our “big brother” China (who liked to lord over its southern stubborn little brother on and off for about 10 centuries in total, starting with Zhao Tuo – Triệu Đà – a general of the Chinese Qin dynasty (nhà Tần), establishing Nanyue (Nam Việt) in 204 BC after the collapse of the Qin dynasty), then the Mongolians (as ruler of China), then the Manchurians (as ruler of China), then the French (white devils), the Japs (children of Sun Goddess Amaterasu, during World War II) and Big Uncle Sam (big, strong, and cuckoo in the head), to defend, re-claim and protect our independence. If you have to be a warrior during your 20 incarnated lives to keep fighting against foreign aggressive powers like that, you want to show your opponents an icy, emotionless face in the battle – a pure fighting machine; the only cry you want to make is the battle cry “Advance! Kill!”

So, I liked old man Phạm Quỳnh and tried to wear an emotionless face and maintain stiff body movements all the time – Hey, man, I am a warrior of the Great Vietnam, no smiling, no laughing, stiff body, and absolutely no emotional crying with tears flowing.

But for some reason, at one time I could not control myself and started crying. I am not sure what was the reason and when – probably I was kicked out by a girlfriend. But I don’t remember there was a girl involved; besides, I was usually not that mushy with girls – more or less, I would be cool and in self-control.

If I have to guess, I would guess that had to be something related to a situation involving a sad condition for so many people, like seeing a military GMC truck full of soldier corpses during the War, or poor farming villages set ablaze by napalm bombs…

Anyway, the first time I actually cried with tears flowing, I felt such a tremendous relief in my heart. I felt lighter, relieved, and more human – it seemed I was no more a machine or a robot, but a real weak and vulnerable man, with no need to pretend to be a super-fighter.

From that point on, I paid more attention to others’ emotional states and their sadness and tears, and felt that I understood them more.

Much later I read somewhere the popular psychology that you should allow yourself to be in touch with your inner feelings and let them express themselves freely to you, and to others at times; that would make you more humane and wiser.

I think that is correct. EQ is better than IQ.

So, men, cry whenever you feel wanting to cry. No need to hide our emotions. At least, crying will relieve your stress, in addition to make you more humane and wiser.

Wish we all be in touch with our emotions.

With compassion,

Hoành

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