If you want to persuade your friends, parents, siblings to live positively, the least effective way to do so is by words, and the best way to persuade them is by your own positive living.
Words are the worst way to persuade your loved ones. Deeds are the best way.
Why is it that words are the worst way?
1. Because the listeners will feel that they are being lectured, sermonized, pressured, or criticized, and they will naturally resist.
2. It’s easier said than done, thus we usually talk better than we do, and as a result listeners will think that we’re “full of hot air”.
3. Words always create pressure – that is, to push someone into doing something (though we don’t mean to do so), thus we usually receive resistance.
Therefore, the best way to persuade is speak less and focus on your positive living, and that way of living will by itself persuade others.
Words are only good when:
1. We need to educate, like teachers teaching their students or parents lecturing their kids.
2. We answer someone’s question, with just enough words – for instance, a friend asks how to stay calm when someone disturbs you.
3. There is no other way to communicate (like me using the Internet to “speak” to you).
Hence, you should talk less and do more with your way of positive living. Let people around you live in their own way (even if you consider that way very negative, except for, of course, children who need instructions from their parents). Gradually your positive attitude and thinking will persuade people around you, without your trying and effort.
We human learn by imitating each other, either consciously or, most of the time, unconsciously. It is evident that we learn by mimicking each others’ actions. And this is the reason why all parents on earth teach their children to “choose their company” because “the sparrow near a school sings the primer”.
Live positively, and let your positive living be a beacon naturally lighting up the life of people around you.
All the positive examples in life automatically have the power to persuade people.
Wish you all a persuasive life!
(Nguyen Ha Huyen Van translated from Vietnamese)
Original article: Thuyết phục bằng cách sống