Dear Brothers and Sisters,

What do we want in life?

Whatever the answer is – money, power, position, reputation, love – the ultimate answer everyone has is: happiness. Whatever we want serves only one purpose for us – making us happy.

We all live to find happiness.

But can you hand me happiness so I can see how it looks?

You can’t do that, because happiness is the state of mind/heart. It is invisible. You can feel happiness clearly in your heart, but cannot describe it exactly, not mentioning holding it in your hand to deliver it to another person.

Unfortunately, many people equate all things – money, power, position, reputation, love – with happiness.

Folks, don’t confuse your lover’s dress with herself. She is beautiful inside out because she is beautiful, not because of her dress. You can be happy with your new car, until it gives you an accident. You enjoy for position until you realize that most of your friends have turned into your enemies because they want your job.

Everything you have, you can lose, and when you lose it, you suffer. In Buddhism. That is called ái biệt ly khổ (suffering of separation from what/who we love).

Even when you haven’t lost something, you may still suffer from fighting to keep it. That is attachment (chấp) in Buddhism.

The truth is, most people will tell you they are unhappy although they have everything people wish. You have seen many rich and famous people kill themselves, become mentally ill, or try to escape unhappiness by doing drugs.

Most of my VIP friends are richer than me at least 10 times, and every one of them is worried about money constantly, probably every minute of the day. That makes me feel funny and somewhat annoyed too. I talk quietly in my mind: “If I don’t worry about money, then why you guys, richer than me 10, 20 and some guys 100 times, are so damn worried about money constantly? I can’t understand the logic.”

So, we cannot mistake worldly possessions with happiness – permanent happiness.

For the majority of people of the world, worldly possessions are the sources of stress, because they grasp onto them. Grasping always give you stress and unhappiness.

The way you live with happiness is sống tùy duyên (living in accordance with causal conditions – whatever comes, you happily live with it; whatever goes, you happily let it go).

Things come and go as the results of (1) your prior actions (nhân, nguyên nhân, causes) and (2) other causes from outside you (society conditions, weather, world events, whatever that affects you quietly (duyên – conditions). Both of them together are nhân duyên (causes & conditions). People shorten nhân duyên (causes & conditions) into duyên (conditions). I called them “causal conditions”.

Sống tùy duyên is living in accordance with causes & conditions.

If you understand that all things come and go depending on your prior actions and many conditions in the world around you, and you cannot stop them from coming and going, then you will be happy with them coming and going. Every thing is tùy duyên (dependent on causal relations), out of your control.

“Good” thing or “bad” thing are the same, they are the results of your causes and conditions. So, treat them both as two noble guests in your home. Then you will always be happy.

Sống tùy duyên probably can be called sống tự nhiên (living naturally).

Trần Nhân Tông, the founding patriarch of Trúc Lâm Zen school said:

Living in the world, joyful in the Way, let’s go with the causation flow
When hungry, eat; when sleepy, sleep
Jewels in the home, search no more
Facing things, no mind – why ask for Zen

(TĐH translated)

In the Abrahamic schools (Judaism, Christianity – Orthodox, Catholic, Protestant – and Islam), you are always happy because you submit yourself and your life into God’s hands. Every thing comes and goes in your life is God’s will, and everything travelling with God’s will is good for you. You have no worry, only happiness.

Happiness is a state of mind. Nothing can be the foundation of your happiness. Your mind is the foundation of your happiness – a mind can see the nature of happiness and live with that knowledge.

My friends, don’t go after worldly things for happiness – that is the impossible mission.

Things come and go as a natural matter or the matter of God, depending on your spiritual view. Live with that spiritual understanding, then life is extremely easy and happy.

With compassion,

Hoành

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