Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Probably you have seen this scenario thousands and thousands of times, so familiar that you don’t even think about it ever: People are born, grow up, go to school, get a job, marry, have children, age, become weak and sick, and die. Many go through that life journey, without ever being conscious of the meaning of that journey. People live as a matter of reflex – I happen to be here, to live, so I live, until I die.

What is the purpose of our life journey – To where? For what? Continue reading Get a meaning for your life →

Dear Brothers & Sisters,

Have you ever broken something – like a ceramic dish – when you were angry?

People do that very often. Husband and wife arguing, someone breaks something, or both break things in a breaking competition. Continue reading Breaking →

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

If you think about it, the human life has more tough time than relaxing time. Excluding sleeping time, during our awake hours, we usually are under pressure of work, studying, making deals, buying and selling, taking care of children, fighting and competing, dealing with unexpected bad things falling down from the sky – such as sickness, accidents, being stabbed on the back, being badmouthed, being betrayed… Moments to relax and enjoy life are few and far between. That is why the Buddhists say, “Life is suffering”. Continue reading When grieving, cry →

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

My question above means “Can you stand by yourself without leaning on someone higher?”

Maybe you are one of those who think they can stand by themselves because they think they are strong enough. But my observation is that it is extremely difficult to stand by yourself, because in life you will run into experiences that may collapse you at times. Most people don’t realize how weak they are until they face a catastrophic event much more horrendous than they can handle.

My own experience is that I cannot stand by myself. I may have an illusion about my strength once in awhile, but generally I can see cleary that my weakness conquers me easily, like angry when I know I shouldn’t, eating something when I know I shouldn’t, saying something that I know shouldn’t, worrying about something that I know I shouldn’t, fearing something that I know I shouldn’t… Too many things to name. For many years I was truggling to be better – however you want to define better – but I always felt like I didn’t move one centimeter. Seemed like the battle to better myself was naturally a losing battle. Continue reading Can you stand by yourself? →

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Each of us has many labels, some of them we give to ourself, some of them people give to us, but usually we agree to both kinds of labels. Ex: Lawyer, northerner, female, Saigonese, Catholic, International American High School, Polytechnique University graduate, John Hopskins Univ. Master in International Relations, super-intellectual, health-conscious vegan… and probably a lot more.

Probably we all enjoy those labels of ours, or at least have no problems with them. But we don’t know that they usually are our hinderances spiritually. Continue reading Watch out for your labels →

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Ỏng Trời (Mr. Heaven) is the most ubiquitous personage in the Vietnamese culture. We say “Heaven!” or “Mr. Heaven!” (Trời ơi! or Ông Trời ơi!) very often for all kinds of reasons. Or “Oh, Heaven and Earth!” (Trời đất ơi!) usually for great sorrow or mourning.

And we pray to Ông Trời : “Pray Heaven, please give us rain, so we have water to drink” (Lạy Trời mưa xuống lấy nước tôi uống), and talks about Him fairly often: Continue reading Mr. Heaven →

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Probably you have heard “You are what you eat” many times. It mainly talks about your food – if you eat mainly meat, you are fat, heavy, and slow, with cholesterol clogging up your veins and all your internal organs. If you eat a lot of fruit and a moderate amount of starch, you are thin and healthy.

But I am talking about your spirit: Spiritually, you are what you eat. Continue reading You are what you eat →

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Each of us has a number of supporters who support us in various things – emotion, business, profession, career, finance… They can be individuals close to us, such as father and mother, sisters and brothers, relatives, friends… or organizations, such as commercial companies, non-government orgnizations, temples, churches, schools…

To support means to lift us up when we drop down, to carry us when we collapse, to prop us up when we’re unstable, to refesh our spirit when we lose hope, to give us a shoulder to lean on when we’re heavy laden, to defend us when we’re downtrodden, to hold our hand when we’re lonely, to bring us light when we’re hopeless…

Your suporters stand on three concentric circles, with you at the center. The innermost circle (number 1) houses your strongest supporters – father & mother, brothers & sisters, closest relatives, best friends…

The next circle out (number 2) consists of friends, workmates, work supervisor, employees, teachers, relatives, priests, nuns, neighbors…

The outermost circe (number 3) contains your doctor, lawyer, dentist, banker, finance advisor, grocer, real state agent, travel agent, insurance agent…

Generally, each of us, with some minor variations for each person, has these 3 supporter circles, with the innermost being the strongest and the outtermost the least strong. All three circles are our supporters. We need to keep them with us, for they are our family and friends, and they give us the strength to go through life.

About the inner circle, many folks take their family for granted and don’t consider family members their supporters. They are dead wrong. Family members – dad, mom, brothers, sisters – usualy give us emotional and spiritual support, especially when we don’t have much support from outside the family. Sometimes there is such a thing as family tension, but even with tension, the emotional ties in the family are always strong and beneficial, if we know to appreciate them. Even when family members are not talking to each other, they always care about each other in their own silent way. So, even if you don’t talk to your family members, keep in mind that they care for you greatly, and this understanding, in turn, will help your heart greatly.

Some young folks don’t want family’s financial support, because they want to work their way up independently. I think that is an unwise attitude. If you want to start your own business and your dad wants to give you money to start it, you don’t have to say “no” to be independent. You don’t need to have an “independent” attitude toward dad. Family members are supposed to be interdependent. Family is not neighborhood. If dad gives you money, take it with gratitude. But you want to be responsible in business, so before to taking dad’s money, show him your good business plan and a way to repay him his “loan.” Call that a loan, and you will repay dad, maybe in monthly installments for some years, with interst rate that the banks are charging. Treat dad as your banker, so that you will run your business professionally and responsibly. You will grow up faster and better that way.

All other people in all three circles are your supporters – they know you and you know them, they trust you and you trust them – so keep them within your reach, and come to them when you need their support. You will understand their value to you when you move to a new city faraway and don’t have any supporter in any circle around you.

There is another circle of supporters furthest out from you. That is the circle of your customers (if you do business) or voters (if you do politics) or readers (if you are a writer) … Generally, they are the people who consume the products you provide.

Look at the bicycle wheel above, the hub of the wheel at the center is you and the three concentric circles of your supporter. The big wheel outside represents your consumers. They are your supporters because they bring money or power or job to you. So, treat them well and try to keep them with you. They are your customers and they will bring more customers to you. All customers do that – if they like you, they will introduce you to their family and friends.

Many business people abuse their current customers while trying to court new customers. That is stupid. Your current customers are your advertising company – if they like you, they automatically advertise you, free of charge. And hundreds or thousands of your clients advertising you constantly, every day, is a very very big and expensive advertising project, for which you pay zero đồng. Therefore, be nice to your customers. Not only your customers are your kings, they are more than kings, because they bring more clients and more money to you constantly. Kings don’t do that.

Alright, that is all four circles of your supporters. Be nice to everyone standing on those circles. And you will be hugely successful, however you define success.

Wish that we all be successful.

With compassion,

Hoành

© copyright 2023
Trần Đình Hoành
Permitted for non-commercial use
www.dotchuoinon.com

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

This sounds like a quote for guitar kings, divas, divos, soccer stars, martial arts stars, and all other kinds of stars and starlets – an egoistic culture focusing on pumping up each individual’s self-centered ego. Oh Lordy, how am I sick of that! TV, Radio, Internet, social media, day in and day out!

The ego wants to puff up bigger and bigger, until it becomes an overinflated balloon and explodes. Continue reading Let your light shine before men →

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

In the Vietnamese culture, when a person begins his talk with “I’m frank” or “I’m telling you frankly”,(tôi nói thẳng), you will start to get nervous, because you know the guy is going to dump all kinds of garbage on your head. They use “I’m frank” as a permit to insult you – the permit that they indeed issue to themselves.

I have never heard anyone respond: “Can you try not to be frank?” Continue reading I’m frank →

Dear Brothers & Sisters,

For at least half of a century that I have observed with my own eyes, people in the world have taught each other to break up relationships faster and faster every day.

When I was little, no one talked about divorce in Vietnam – once in awhile you heard about someones in USA or Europe divorcing, like a strange activity that strange people in the West did because they had too much leisure time on their hand. Even when I got to the US in 1975, few Americans were divorcing, though a lot compared with innocent Vietnam. Continue reading Stick together →

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Did you ever owe someone some kind of debt, monetary debt or emotional debt, that you couldn’t repay and now you have no chance to repay (because, say, the person is dead)?

How do you feel about that?

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

I talk to you about Buddhist teachings very often, not because I want to spread the Buddhist religion, but because I know that the Buddhist way of living is a very good way for us humans – meaning, for the entire troubling world of ours.

Buddhist way is not necessarily Buddhist religion. You don’t have to be a pagoda goer to live the Buddhist way – it is an observation-based philosophy with living guidelines on how to live productively and happily and, therefore, successfully, for anyone who wants to practice. You don’t have to be a Buddhist to practice the Buddhist way. It is for everyone , regardless of his/her religious affiliation or no affiliation at all. Continue reading Non-attachment →