Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Loyalty is chữ trung, lòng trung, lòng trung thành. Loyalty is extremely important to keep relationships lasting – husband and wife, friend and friend, teacher and student, lover and lover, boss and subordinate, relative and relative, priest/monk/nun and believer …

Every relationship demands some level of loyalty for it to last. All relationships have troubles at times. Without loyalty acting as glue, all relationships collapse whenever trouble comes.

I have seen more than once, couples marry and divorce after 6 months, or sometimes 3 months. My God, what kind of marriage is that? Don’t people know that the closer you are to a person, the higher is the possibility of you having problems with that person? You would not have any problem with some guy you don’t know living on the other side of the town. But you may have regular problems with your mom and dad, or your friends, or your co-workers…

The closer people are, the more chances they clash.

Loyalty is the glue to help people cool down and overcome those clashes.

For a while, many young folks did not understand what chữ trung meant. Amazing! More than one have emailed me and asked: “What is chữ trung, bro Hoành?”

I guess the reason was that after 1975 there was a huge movement to erase everything considered as backward (tụt hậu), depraved (đồi trụy), or reactionary (phản động).

Well, loyalty was the anchor of the monarchy in the old days: “Be loyal to the king, Love your country” (Trung quân, Ái quốc). The motto actually says: Trung quân = Ái quốc (“Loyal to the king” means “Loving your country”). The king is the country. Of course, very backward. So, the motto was erased, and along with it, chữ trung, the idea of loyalty.

In addition, for a number or years after April 1975, if you were in the South and still loyal to the defeated Việt Nam Cộng Hòa regime, then you were an authentic reactionary. Not good for your health. Erase loyalty!

So, surprised as I was, I understood why some young professionals didn’t know what chữ trung meant.

Actually, the problems already existed, at least in the South, long before 1975, for all to see – the generals of the South killed their own president Ngô Đình Diệm and his brother Ngô Đình Nhu. After that, the generals turned against each other, fighting for power, with all kinds of coups d’état and political, sometimes violent, maneuvers. No loyalty to their own leaders and to themselves.

At that time, chữ trung had not been erased. Everyone knew what chữ trung meant. But they, the guys at leadership level, still acted like they had never learned chữ trung.

Back to today, you guys and gals, need to understand a simple truth: All relationships have clashes, issues, questions and challenges at times – you need loyalty to stay cool, think, love, and overcome those challenges to keep your relationships going.

That is if you treasure your relationships.

But if you don’t give a damn about your relationships, then be my guest. Keep your lonely living way.

With compassion,

Hoành

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Trần Đình Hoành
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