Dear Brothers and Sisters,
If you have just graduated from university and are looking for job, or have just started a new job, chances are many of you will feel a little lost, because you’re not sure what job to look for, what should be your job for life, not mentioning where to look for the job you want…
And not only job, there are questions about life too – When I can buy a house? How many years from now? When should I marry? What kind of girl/boy I should merry? When should I have children? Do I care if my child is boy or girl? Should I explore religions? Should I have a religion? How should I choose a religion? Probably marry a religious girl/boy and follow her/his religion? That would be cool!
And those are questions only for yourself. There are questions about the world too. “I’ve heard about all kinds of bad news all over the world, Russia Ukraine, Israel Palestinians, the East Sea, Sudan, Myanmar, refugees running to Europe, to US… Why all these problems? Where is the UN? Are they all sleeping? Can someone one clean up the world?”
You have a lot of questions, more than I can list them down. The result is that you feel a great sense of being lost – you are not sure where you are going, where you want to go, what you have to do to have a sense of purpose, certainty and happiness.
I talk about young graduates, but many of those questions follow many people of all age groups all their life. “Purpose, certainty, happiness” – these are the trinity of life, so to speak.
• Let’s talk about certainty first. Life would be much easier if we are certain about life, like school – if you study seriously, you can be certain that each year you will go up one grade, from first grade all the way to doctorate.
But life is the opposite. Life is constantly changing; nothing stays the same. The Buddhists say, “Like is impermanent” or “Life is non-permanent.” Everything changes constantly – you plant a rose plant, the plant will grow and change constantly, never stop changing. Each one of us grows and changes constantly, never stops changing. So, life is uncertain, impermanent.
Unfortunately, many many many people cannot cope with impermanence and uncertainty, especially when a change brings much pain and sorrow. Many people prefer their life to stay the same – same daily routines, same people around, same job, same location – a familiar life is a life of normalcy and peace. Of course, these people are constantly unhappy, because their life is constantly “attacked” by changes. A life of certainty is an illusion, non-existent.
Life is not a chair for you to sit still. Life is a flowing river, each drop of water flowing by is a new drop. “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man,” Greek philosopher Heraclitus has said.
So, the wise person understands the impermanent nature of life and happily lives with it, with ups and downs, lefts and rights, happiness and sorrow, pain and comfort… You live with life as a fish lives in a river. Wherever the river carries the fish to – clear water, muddy water, calm water, turbulent water – the fish simply lives happily with the water at that place, no complaint.
Life is impermanent. Whatever comes, you happily live with it; whatever goes, you happily let it go. There is no certainty in life. There is only one certainty in you, and that is your attitude: you decide that whatever comes and goes, you live with it naturally and happily. That is called sống tùy duyên (living with the causal conditions)
• Now, we talk about purpose. This is much easier to accomplish. First, observe people around you: whoever focuses on serving him/herself – I serve me, my money, my name, my power, my property, my life – always has a rough, selfish, unprincipled, meaningless and unhappy life. A lot of people in this group end up killing themselves.
To give meaning to your life, whatever job you do – doctor, selling phở, teacher, engineer – simply remind yourself every day that “Whatever I do today, besides helping myself, I also do to serve the world around me.” Say, you sell bánh mì. Always remember that in addition to feeding your family, you also make your customers happy with your tasteful bánh mì and your smile, which makes their day.
Be conscious that whatever job we do, we make a living for us and also serve the world around us. The sense “serving others” gives us a selfless and purposeful life.
Life purpose is not what we do, but who we think we serve in what we do.
• Happiness. If you live naturally well with life uncertainty, and are always conscious that whatever you do for yourself, you also serve the world around you, then happiness always stay with you naturally, without your doing anything else.
Wish you all happiness.
With compassion,
Hoành
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Trần Đình Hoành
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