i. You have to be logical. Ex: “He eats lunch and immediately takes a nap.” Well, that is not logical to conclude that Mr. Wallace is cuckoo in his head. But “He dips his bologna sandwich into his coffee and eat it” may be logical enough to prove that Mr. Wallace is not well in his head.

ii. Use concrete and picturesque language rather than abstract language. Ex: “They sit and murmur to each other like a pair of love birds” is much better than “They sit and discuss their private affairs of the day.”

iii. Use simple language rather than complex language. Ex: “When you talk, be honest and direct, meaning, going straight to the point” is better than “When you explore a theme, strive to approach it with an analytical mind, looking for the subtleties underneath the façade of language.”

iv. Look at the listeners. You can’t talk to them while looking out to the street.

v. Change your speed at times. At the simple part, you can go a little faster; at the complex part, slow… down.

vi. Stress the important words that you want the listeners to focus on. “Stress” means talk a little louder, and add some body language – movement of the hands and the body.

vii. Body language usually helps the words greatly, so try to use your hands to support your voice once in a while.

viii. If that is a conversation, listen carefully to other persons.

a. If what they say is relevant and you agree, then say, “I agree” and continue your talk.

b. If what they say is relevant but you disagree then say, “I think you may have a point, but allow me to finish, then I will listen to you more carefully,” and continue.

c. If what they say is irrelevant, then say, “Allow me to finish, then I will listen to your point.”

d. If that is a conversation without any focal point and you don’t care much about your point, then just follow the direction of anyone and meander (tám) with them just to have a good time.

ix. Most importantly, think about your listeners as your good friends – you are sharing your knowledge with a group of friends, be sincere with them, and try to help them understand what you have in your mind, for their benefit.

.

3. When you are done, say something to indicate you are done. Ex: “That’s it. Draw your own conclusion about the state of his mental health.”

The sentence “Draw your own conclusion” lets your listeners draw their own conclusion freely – they don’t feel you force your own conclusion on them. And that is a very good way to avoid quarrelling and to keep the precious friendship.

Don’t forget: Friendship in the heart is the foundation of communication.

Wish you all talk well.

With compassion,

Hoành