Dear Brothers and Sisters,

My question above means “Can you stand by yourself without leaning on someone higher?”

Maybe you are one of those who think they can stand by themselves because they think they are strong enough. But my observation is that it is extremely difficult to stand by yourself, because in life you will run into experiences that may collapse you at times. Most people don’t realize how weak they are until they face a catastrophic event much more horrendous than they can handle.

My own experience is that I cannot stand by myself. I may have an illusion about my strength once in awhile, but generally I can see cleary that my weakness conquers me easily, like angry when I know I shouldn’t, eating something when I know I shouldn’t, saying something that I know shouldn’t, worrying about something that I know I shouldn’t, fearing something that I know I shouldn’t… Too many things to name. For many years I was truggling to be better – however you want to define better – but I always felt like I didn’t move one centimeter. Seemed like the battle to better myself was naturally a losing battle.

Until I found someone I can lean on: Jesus.

A friend gave me a Bible and told me to read about Jesus, especially the Gospel of John. If you know the Bible, you know that the Gospel of John is a very heavy-dosed book to beginners. I had known about the Bible when I was little, but I hadn’t read it then and hadn’t understood it, other than hearing some vague bits and pieces once in awhile in the church. So, when my friend told me to read the Gospel of John, it was completely new to me. I was truly a beginner.

And, sure enough, John really shocked me the beginner. Here is how he started his book: “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:1-5)

Wow, do you understand it? Does it sound like prehistoric Maya enchanting mantra to you? If you understand it on your first read, Einstein would have to kowtow to you three times, head touching the ground, and call you “My Great Master”.

My first reaction was: “Wow, this is tough. What is it?” This sounds like something magical, half real and half ethereal. It sounds like someone in some other world talking to people of this world in their otherworldy tongue.

But, I told myself: “I’m lawyer who has read tons of crazy legalese written by insane lawyers in tons of laws and regulations and law books.” (Well, if you read any statute of any country in the world, the way the language winds its course in and out, left and right, up and down, commas, semilolons, except, but, however… non-stop all over the page, you must conclude that whoever writes this crazy piece must be cuckoo in the head and have a big probem with simple talking). “So, this strange, ethereal, curiosity-provoking language is not going to scare or discourage me.” Besides, this friend who gave me this Bible was the former national security adviser of a US president. He was no dummy. He couldn’t give me some thing nonsensical to read. So, I read Gospel of John seriously and slowly, by checking the footnotes at the bottom of each page.

And gradually I came to understand this man named Jesus, who I had known since I was little but whom I had never understood at all.

At one point I came across this Jesus saying that startled me: “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” Wow! I sat quiet for a while to recover from the shock and said to myself silently: “Well, you really give me a serious challenge, don’t you? Forcing me to make a choice, with no room to wiggle out.”

The saying means either Jesus was insane and should have been in the asylum or, if he was not insane, he must be God or someone very close to God.”

No one with a right mind has the courage to say: “I am the way and the truth and the life.” All the great teachers of the world said: “I am only a person to teach you about the way, the truth and the life.” Jesus is the only one who said: “I am the way and the truth and the life.”

But you cannot say he was insane, because everything he said carries great knowledge about the human heart and human soul.

So, I had no room to wiggle out. I had to decide whether he was insane and thus cross him out for good, or accepted that he was God or someone very close to God. I didn’t have to think too long – I knew he was not insane, so he had to be God or very close to God.

That was my first major step into accepting Jesus as a sweet, gentle and humble friend, who is The Great Spirit that always walks with me every minute of the day, and whom I can lean on whenever I feel I need some strength, in big or small matters, and talk to whenever I want, about whatever, just like talking to a very close friend. Jesus has said: “I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:16).

(Some months later I told my friend about how the sentence “I am the way, and the truth, and the life” gave me no way out – I had to choose one way or another. He smiled and said: “That’s amazing, isn’t it? He leaves you with no way out. You have to decide one way or another.”)

And since that big step, everything has become much much easier for me – I don’t lose my temper easily, I don’t get jealous easily, I don’t fear anything easily, I love everyone much more easily, I care about all people much more easily, I relax easily…

I am still the old weak me as ever. But now I have my superb strength from my friend Jesus.

My dear friends, I share with you my personal experience to tell you that: Life will be much easier for us, if we have someone to lean on and talk to all the time. We all are weak. Therefore, find someone to lean on. You don’t have to stand by yourself.

And you can have more than one friend. I have two friends – Jesus and the Buddha, who I rely on for a lot of things. I rely on Jesus for matters of the heart, and the Buddha for matters of the mind.

I know life is hard for us. I have watched many people trying to be better all their life, but they couln’t move a milimeter, until they die.

Pick someone to be your friend and for you to lean on.

Wish everyone of us find spritual strength.

With compassion,

Hoành

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Trần Đình Hoành
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