Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Do you realize that almost every parent worries about their children’s learning bad things, especially teens and college-aged children? Why is that?

The answer is obvious: More bad things than good things are being taught out there.

We adults know that. Life really has too many traps for the young. Parents never know what kinds of things their children may get into and be hooked, or how their children will turn out to be in the future. Scary! Raising a kid is a job with a lot of unknown involved.

But here is the bigger dimension of the same issue: Are we parents aware that we ourselves also have many traps in life, probably more traps than what our children face – tứ đổ tường (四 堵牆 – bốn bức tường, four walls [of a prison] – tửu sắc tài khí – alcohol, lust, gambling, narcotic), bribe, corruption, dishonest business, fraud, backstabbing, betraying, lying, defaming, grabbing, fighting, oppressing, “lawful” robbing, trickery… Oh, we adults have thousands of things to tempt us. Many more temptations than what the teens are facing.

Another bigger problem facing the adults is that adults have no supervisors to keep them in check – their parents consider them adult, knowing all things, having all rights to do whatever they see fit. So, while a teen has parents to control them somehow, an adult has no higher controller and free to do… all the stupid stuff.

So, who are more in danger? You or your kids? Who go to prisons more? Adults or teens?

Parents, you need to be able to keep yourself in check, be disciplined with yourself, and fight off your temptations, so that you can be a model for your children and can teach them something.

You cannot teach your children anything good if they don’t see you as good. Children learn by imitation, not by listening to lectures. If you tell your child not to smoke while you are puffing a cigarette, the child will smoke while telling himself you’re full of crap.

You adults have 2 reasons to stay in discipline: (1) you and (2) your children. You need to educate and protect both yourself and your children.

And, remember that you have no supervisor other than yourself.

Wish you all be good to yourself and your children.

With compassion,

Hoành

© copyright 2023
Trần Đình Hoành
Permitted for non-commercial use
www.dotchuoinon.com