Dear Brothers and Sisters,
When you have some problem, do you ask for help? Or you usually don’t seek help because “I don’t want to bother other people”?
I know many people averse to help seeking just because they don’t feel comfortable “brothering others.” But I don’t understand why they think they brother others when they reach out to seek help.
I imagine the help seeker probably thinks that every time he receives someone’s help, he owes the helper a debt, and he doesn’t want to have debt, so he doesn’t seek help.
There are two problems here. (1) Most people in the world are happy to help you if you ask for help, and (2) when people help you, they don’t think they are giving you a loan and you don’t owe them anything. They are just happy to help you.
Most people in the world are ready and happy to give help when asked. That is why many people who have problems on the road simply flag down other drivers to ask for help. And most drivers will stop to give you some help (of course, except people who are in a rush for something).
So, where you need help, ask for help. Don’t worry that you will owe a debt. Have faith in the human’s good heart. People usually have better nature than we imagine. Most people in the world are happy to offer help to someone in need. When we have a chance to help someone, we always feel we are useful and beneficial to someone, and we have a chance to do a good deed.
When you seek help, you actually make someone very happy by giving you help. And that is a good deed you have done to the helper.
Read The Giver Should Be Thanksful” in 101 Zen Stories:
While Seisetsu was the master of Engaku in Kamakura he required larger quarters, since those in which he was teaching were overcrowded. Umezu Seibei a merchant of Edo, decided to donate five hundred pieces of gold called ryo toward the construction of a more commodious school. This money he brought to the teacher.
Seisetsu said: “All right. I will take it.”
Umezu gave Seisetsu the sack of gold, but he was dissatisfied with the attitude of the teacher. One might live a whole year on three ryo, and the merchant had not even been thanked for five hundred.
– “In that sack are five hundred ryo,” hinted Umezu.
– “You told me that before,” replied Seisetsu.
– “Even if I am a wealthy merchant, five hundred ryo is a lot of money,” said Umezu.
– “Do you want me to thank you for it?” asked Seisetsi.
– “You ought to,” replied Umezu.
– “Why should I?” inquired Seisetsu. “The giver should be thankful.”
Why the giver should be thankful? Because the receiver has given the giver an opportunity to do a good deed.
So, be confident and ask for help when you need help – you will make someone very happy.
Wish you all understand the emotional healing power of help seeking.
With compassion,
Hoanh
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